Five: Waking up with the knowledge that it’s over. OVER. It’s like being kicked in the belly. This then sets you up for a day of inermittent crying and trying to think happy thoughts but of course he’s in all the best ones. Like the time he went to your flat and filled it with flowers and made you pumpkin soup before picking you up from the airport. More tears.
Four: Body goes into shock for a few days and the churny feeling prevents anything being digested. Immediately following this period chocolate, Ben & Jerry’s, and KFC all become legitmate food groups. Queue thoughts of becoming so fat you can’t leave the house without the assistance of a crane. Who will love me then?!
Three: Talk it out. Spends hours with (amazing, fabulous, wise and gentle) girlfriends going over the minutae of the situation. Talk some more. Relay entire conversations. Talk about every other relationship you’ve had and why this is the same or different. Vow to only date complete opposite of type in future. Recoil in horror at the thought of ending up with very short, unfunny gentleman who has no passion in life, hates hugs, cannot hold himself in an argument and has unfeasibly small hands.
Two: Stop crying so much. Start eating non-sugar based meals. Notice that things have happened in the world while in heartbreak cocoon. Heath Ledger is what? Feel sad for a good long while (about self and Heath).
One: Perspective comes thundering back to life. You’re alive, healthy, loved. This too will pass.
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