So, anyway I signed up for the Round the Bays run through work becasue I’m all about losing the Heathrow injection. I now find the thing is 7km long and requires the wearing of corporate colours. I’m not really a ‘joiner’, and I usually don’t attend work events. On a Saturday. As you can imagine the prospect of participating in this ‘fun run’ makes me feel so rock n’ roll I can’t stand myself. Anyway I am now running about 10-15km a week. Sometimes in the morning. And I am starting to enjoy it.
Not so long ago the only good reason I could think of for running would involve my arse being on fire, and a bucket of water being a good distance away. As it’s Tuesday here is a list of other potential scenarios that would motivate me to do the running:
- Being chased by a big angry dog.
- Being hungry and in a group of three or more people, with a single piece of cake visible in the middle distance.
- Being threatened at gun point.
- Being offered a place on a rocket ship exiting an imminently exploding Earth, with fitness being the single most important criterion for getting a seat.
- Being in the carpark at the beach and seeing loved person drowning a fair way out in the water.
- Being followed by a swarm of killer bees.
- Being followed by a group of Seventh Day Adventists.
- Being thrust into sudden fame, and hence constantly chased by the paparazzi.
- Being at a party, with “My Heart Will Go On” on permanent rotation on the stereo, which is broken and hence the volume is stuck at eleven, and can be heard by everyone within a five kilometre radius.
- Being in the Amazonian jungle and having just stolen a valuable artefact, but being caught in the act by some surprisingly quick-footed pygmies.
- Being quite near a building that looks like it’s about to collapse or explode.
- Being three blocks away from a bank robber who looks like he’s just about to empty his sack full of non-sequential, unmarked bills into the air to avoid capture, (just like they do in the movies).
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