Jesus Christ I’m tired. I totally forgot how early 4am is. I so need a nanny. Does that count as a benefit? I wonder if Flanners would be up for it at salary review in May? Probably not. I miss Bill. Bill was up for the Wetzell Hotness. God where is that assistant with my coffee already? I can’t wait until May. Can’t wait until May Can’t wait until May my god May May May. Why isn’t it May yet?
I wish I could talk about real shit like the war – God the war could be so great for me. Maybe I could go on assignment or something, I should think about that. I’ve been on assignment before, like the Breakfast tour around the country last year, I can totally do the war.
Or maybe we can do something really cutting edge and go to China or something? That would be ok, I don’t really want to go to China. Their babies are cute but whatever. Unless the food is like Hot Wok.
God where is that girl with my coffee? May May May May May. Ok, let’s go Pipstar, five minutes, let’s get on it.
I am totally in control today with Ed’s funeral on. It’s my studio man, you’re just watching it. At least I won’t have to put up with Paul and his Brut stench all morning.
How are we going to say it? This is Breakfast. Good morning, it’s breakfast time on Breakfast. Good morning New Zealand, it’s Breakfast. Jesus I want out of this. Good Evening, New Zealand, this is the news. I don’t see why Paul gets to fill in for Mark. I could totally do serious Close Up stuff. I am the thinking man’s crumpet. Ooh crumpets. That’s what I want with my coffee. I bet Judy freakin Bailey didn’t have to wait for coffee!
God I so want to cover the war! I hope it doesn’t end until August or something. Maybe I could trade in the nanny benefit for a stint over in Afganistan or Kurdistan or wherever the war is? I could ride in a tank or something. I would look really cute in a army hat and it would be like really motivating for the soldiers. Maybe I could meet American soldiers and get my break there?! Good morning America this is Pippa Wetzell for CNN. That’s more like it. Six more months and I’ll be in a tank. Or maybe China…
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