Since it’s that kind of day where you just put it all out there. And because even though I have returned to discover the horrific reality that the kiwi man-shortage is not actually urban myth, I refuse to lower the bar. So here we go:

• The key to what we want is respect.
• We want to be mentally stimulated, to be challenged – we want a spark.
• We want to be with someone who is a good mate and who makes us laugh. Someone who is easy to be with.
• We want to be loved. We want to be adored. Even worshipped on occasion.
• A beer belly. Well just a small one. Why? Because it shows that a boy eats and drinks well. And you must be obsessed with food if we are to get along. Obsessed. And if you can turn me on with your mind, if you can make me laugh til I wet my pants, if you can make sweet sweet love, I probably wouldn’t give a shit what you look like (within reason).
• Integrity, intelligence, grace, good humour.
• We want confident lovers. So if you don’t have the master skills, go and learn them. It’s a life skill. Trust me. Because we want slow sex, hard sex, rough sex, tender sex, all manner of kinky whatever-works-for-you sex. And we want you to make love to us.
• We want to feel at home in your arms.
• We want you to be brave enough to let us be the best ‘us’ we can be. Don’t be scared off by our big jobs or salaries. Just enjoy the fact you are with a women who knows her own mind and who is powerful in her own right.
• We want you to be brave enough to follow your own dreams.
• We want substantially increased representation in the governments of all the nations of the world.
• We want men who are trustworthy, responsible and reliable. Sounds boring but if this underpins everything else then you can be as wild and free as you need to be.
• We want to get what we give which is usually a flood of love, care, attentiveness, tenderness, pleasure, loyalty, interest.
• We want men who can cook.
• We want cheeky text messages and emails ;)
• We want you to cry (if you feel like it).
• We want men who listen. And remember.
• We want to feel alive, excited, amazing, confident, loved. And we want you to feel like this with us.
• Yes, we want gifts. But it’s not about the gifts – it’s about the gesture. It’s about feeling that we are thought of and appreciated and making us happy makes you happy.
• We like being flirted with and pursued. And romanced. And pinned up against a wall occasionally.
• We love a good kisser.
• We want to share cheesecake in bed while the rain falls on the roof.
• We want you to know what you want.

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