Not only is Monday the first May Bank Holiday (yay summer is imminent), but it is also the start of my e-course. I have been reading Susannah’s blog for years, hers was one of the first I found, when I was looking for someone who understood grief and loss. So much of what she writes resonates with me. She is raw and honest and very funny, and has the ability to distill big, scary concepts into a few sentences, or a photograph. And now Unravelling. I don’t really know what to expect from the next 8 weeks, other than this is about connection and reconnection with one’s self in a creative way. And so I have been thinking a lot about self, and identity and what authenticity means to me.
This blog is a lovely gift to myself, to share my observations and thoughts on the world around me. I am able to be free and creative and have fun here, something that my professional life doesn’t always allow. It is a refuge of sorts: a place to be authentic.
When I was younger I used to think that I would find myself suddenly, as one does a lost sock, that this would probably happen while travelling through an exotic country (and having a passionate affair with a man named Javier). But it was when my defences were thinnest, when I was in the rawest of places, when I glimpsed into the abyss – that’s when I first felt my truest, most authentic self. That’s when I found my voice. And I have come to realise that my self is being revealed to me as it grows and develops over time. I know that my experiences and relationships are moulding me and testing me all the time and I find myself wondering is this important to me? Am I brave enough to tell my truth? Am I being authentic?
Both Susannah and Meg have wonderful posts today that inspired me to write this, do stop by.
Comments
i am so happy you are joining us on Monday, Sas – i just know the next eight weeks are going to be filled with some magic :) x
I had no idea what would happen with my blog when I started one four years ago, no idea how it would evolve and where it would take me. I went through grief, a dissolving relationship and crises of working. It’s changed my life in so many enormous ways and although I don’t blog as often as I used to, I know it’s there, it’s mine, it’s me. Glad to hear you’re doing Susannah’s course, have fun.
hiya! Susannah sent me here last night & I came back today to have a poke around – it’s very nice to meet you!
I think just asking the questions and being brave enough to answer them shows authenticity. I agree about it beginning when our defenses are down – for me it really began after some terrible losses. Perhaps we just have to realize how precious life – OUR life – is before we can allow ourselves out.
lovely post! Good luck with Unravelling! I’m going to do it in July.
I love the way you describe your blog as a lovely gift to yourself. That captures blogging perfectly.
I also had to give a sheepish laugh about the exotic travel and Javier. My passionate man was always named a variation on Nathaniel,depending, of course, on where the daydream was located.
I am eager to hear more about Unraveling as you experience it. It sounds fascinating.
Another one sent by Susannah and yes, a lovely lovely post. To use some blogspeak…it resonates.
I unravelled on Susannah’s first course and it was a [strange] joy. I hope you get as much out of it as I know we all did.
I loved this post sas, it really spoke to me. The last 5 years have been fairly traumatic in one way or another for me and I think you’re right, you don’t find yourself suddenly and I think it’s the worst times of your life that show you who you really are, what you’re really made of. It can show you that you have a strength that you had no idea you were capable of.
I’m just starting to find myself, it’s the first time I’ve allowed myself to even consider it, and I know it’s going to be a lengthy process. But I’ve put everything else to one side and am just going to enjoy being me for a while … whoever the heck I am.
Hope you enjoy your e-course … and if it’s not too personal and you’d care to share any of it, I for one would be really interested to hear about it.
You lovely people with your kind and sharey comments. S’wonderful.
I love growing older. When a kid I got the impression that I was in “the best days of my life”. Actually, I was so insecure and uncertain then, but I love the way we grow, find our voice and so on. Great post.
“This blog is a lovely gift to myself… I am able to be free and creative and have fun here, something that my professional life doesn’t always allow. It is a refuge of sorts: a place to be authentic.”
Oh, ditto, ditto, DITTO! You have articulated it perfectly, that is how I feel about my blog as well. I wish I had started it 8 years ago when I was going through the most horrible year of my life, a year when I suffered so emotionally yet learned more about myself thatn I had ever known in the previous 32 years. I hope your e-course is, as Jo said, a “strange joy”.
looking forward to seeing what you come up with .. k