The 26th of January 2005 is in my Top 5 Favourite Days Of All Time. It had the makings of one of the the crappest, being my third wedding anniversary only a month after he left. But for the first time in 28 days I woke to inexpicably find, I did not have the heart-plummeting-through-the-floor-feeling of loss. I went numbly through the process of showering, dressing, commuting. No tears. I remember the winter sun was bright. I made it to a mid-morning meeting with time to spare, in work mode and confident, for a few hours I shed the Abandoned Wife moniker. I was delivering bad news about a project that was running out of funding. But I had a plan and they liked it. We talked about some other pieces of work, their risks and concerns, would I mind casting my eye over them? That familiar rush of gratitude that I get to do this for a living. Afterwards, one of them walked me back through the office. There was small talk, smiling, shiny-eyed glances, and I realised that he was flirting with me. Me the crazy, tired mess with my heart shattered in pieces on the floor.

Later, The Divine Ms G called to ask how I was doing. For the first time in weeks, I wanted to get out of my cocoon and we made plans to meet that evening. I looked for something to wear in the wardrobe and ended up with a pile of clothes destined for the charity bin. I remember sitting on my bed with the cream duvet cover, looking around at the pale walls and the beige carpet, the white throw over the old chaise lounge I had bought from a second-hand store, and realising that this was now my very own space. And it was a bit shit. That afternoon I bought the wrought iron bed frame of my dreams. Over the next few weeks, I found cushions and rugs, table lamps, a gorgeous purple duvet cover embossed with velvety swirls. I had the chaise re-upholstered in ‘Madame Bovary’ (a sexy red velvet) and bought two large prints for framing. And when the bed frame arrived from Italy 8 weeks later, my boudoir was complete.

Later that evening, The Divine Ms G and I toasted the future and I felt hopeful.

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