Dearest friends, family, current and ex-colleagues, old school chums, those I have met on travellytrips, courses, the net and Fletch who pulled me off a table I was dancing on that one time in Pamplona…
I am writing to let you know that I have decided to delete my Facebook account. This decision has been creeping up on me slowly over the last few months. There is no doubt that this is an awesome way for us all to make contact and share photos and memories. I have so enjoyed seeing pictures of you on your special days, hearing about the events and changes in your lives. Lately though, I have found my levels of incredulity at this ‘phenomenon’ increasing. BF (Before Facebook), no one felt the urge to keep their social circle updated as to how much they were looking forward to eating a cupcake. But thanks to the Facebook status bar, (and I mean this with love), no reflection is too banal to go unshared.
I am more than a little disconcerted at the increasing demand by random people to be ‘friends’ with me. People that I do not know, have no friends in common, and who seem to resemble bearded dwarves.
Also I completely get that its nice to feel part of a group. That sense of belonging is a lovely hot chocolate with marshmallows feeling. However, I really don’t understand what the ‘Petition to make it law that bendy buses make accordion noises when they turn round corners’ is expecting to achieve. And I think the ‘Ancient and Mystical Society of No Daves’ may actually breach the Human Rights Act.
That said, it has been lovely to catch up with you all. I always wondered what happened to that blonde girl who made my school life a living hell. And finding out has restored my faith in good karma :)
So look, I would love to keep in touch with any of you who want to and my contact details are below.
Much love,
Sas x
Comments
Hilarious… I like the ‘open letter’ format!!!
So does my dejected friend ‘Ruth’ who happens to be a bearded dwarf (kidding).
Simon – yes you are absolutely right, you cannot delete your account, only ‘deactivate’ it. Science Guy (who knows about such techy things) suggests that at some point they will cull ‘dead data’ from their systems. However, this may not be for years. I am not really paranoid, but that doesn’t feel right to me…
You may have already found out this for yourself, but you cannot delete your Facebook account – or at least not without going to extreme lengths. I registered after the daughter of a couple I know invited me, out of politeness rather than because I expected to use it. After a few months I thought I would quietly slip away, but found that though I could deactivate my account, it remained there, keeping all the associated information.
When people realised this, complaints were made, and Facebook made sure it was possible to entirely eradicate everything, but as far as the ordinary user is concerned, you can sign out at any time you like, but you can never leave.
Of course deactivation amounts to the same, unless you’re paranoid about data being kept about you, but it just goes to show how reluctant companies like this are willing to give up the souls of their victims.
Perfect! Consider me too well over facebook…
It was the last straw for me when members of my family started sending me messages saying, I am your family member so please download this widget so I will know you are my family member.
(Well hello, you already seem to know that! I suspect you are just fitting me into a patronising hierarchy, and guess what – you can get stuffed…)
I haven’t even tried to leave facebook, I just never go there, I am so freaked by the strangers and stalkers and the insincerity.
Not like blogland at all! ;-)
Such a well-timed post… I, too, have recently ‘deactivated’ my Facebook account after a whole year’s total neglect (ie. I didn’t use it for a year and had forgotten I had Facebook thingy, until gently ‘reminded’ by a person whom I see every day at Uni that I was ‘never on Facebook’ [?]).
The account and I had a brief but torrid love affair for about three months in early 2008. It was intoxicating to finally discover what had become of certain beloved/despised classmates, acquaintances and assorted other peripheral figures. However, I was baffled by the vast array of ‘applications’ available, and struggled to get anything really meaningful from the experience. It all felt so cheap and tawdry (which I usually like, but it somehow felt wrong in this scenario), so I left.
All that remains of the love that was once so intense are my personal details, photos and Harry Potter Fan Club membership, which are being stored for posterity on the giant Facebook server for God only knows what purpose.
You are a comic genius. This post made me laugh until my face hurt.
xo