On January 1st for the last few years, I have written a list of intentions. Partly because I am a bit of an obsessy list-maker but also I am truly stunned at the power of writing things down. But I have never been brave enough to list the things I really Really REALLY want. They are left unsaid; squished down by nagging doubts, the who do you think you are to have such thoughts? thoughts, the keep yourself small voices and the overwhelming sense of fear.
This year for me, is all about adventure. Not just coming back to England, but allowing myself to show up and be present in my relationship and to make some peace with the past. I have intentionally opened myself to like-minded souls, and I have found a community of (almost all!) sisters that are living consciously, that are creative and funny, interested and interesting. I have met photographers and writers, bloggers and tweeters, listeners, story tellers, wearers of pretty frocks and beautiful jewellery. I have spent a glorious few months Unravelling. It was a scary, sweet joy to gently take apart the precious pieces of myself and see what was there.
And now I find myself spread eagle over the Mondo Beyondo police car, being frisked for the sparkly diamonds of my dreams. This is about making THE list. The life list. The 100 things you want to do before you die. But on acid. Its about making your very own dreams come true. With intention and a plan and a little bit of serendipitous magic.
So I have a question for you dear reader: if you knew you could not fail, and everyone around you would not only suspend judgement, but wholeheartedly support you…what would you do?
Image: Mondo Beyondo
Comments
What a wonderful post. You write like a dream, like I wish I could. And yet my Mondo Beyondo dream is and always has been to write a book. So that’s what I’m doing, even though I know I could “fail” in the conventional sense. What matters to me now is that I do it and that I do the very best I can.
PS: Everyone that matters around me has not only suspended judgement but has wholeheartedly supported me. Who knew?
@leonie – please no apologies – this is something we’ve talked about as well. The idea of reinvention via geography. Something to discuss when we catch up for supper :)
p.s.
sorry for the long-winded response – guess it provoked something in me eh?!
x
Because I’ve suffered from crippling social phobia since my mid-teens, most of my life has involved wondering what it would be like to do things most people take for granted. So I’ve developed daydreaming to a fine art.
But while this answer will sound as if I’m trivialising your question, I’d have liked to have known what it was like to have sex. Or simply to have had a girlfriend.
I would learn Latin, travel around the small unseen places of the world that no one even knows about and then become a Museum Archivist so I can cut matt boards all day, while talking to the taxidiermed animals in latin.
Ooh thought provoking. If I knew I couldn’t fail I’d try everything I could think of!
oh, i am so BUMMED that i didn’t enroll in that course. i was concerned about the overlap with my india trip and now i feel silly for not doing it and a little left out. BOO!
that said, i am SO glad you are doing it and that i can glean some goodness from your process. i just love your truth-telling and the way you toss in all the bits with humor and heart.
to answer your question: i think i’m doing it. i would write. i would take pictures. i would travel the world and connect, serve and grow. i would reach out to those i feel kindred with and say yes to each and every moment and opportunity that the truest part of me wants to say yes to.
and, mostly, i would be free.
xoxo lisa
Are male bloggers really that rare?
be a novelist.
Diet.
that’s a bloody big question…
because i have that support around me and i still doubt my own ability. so i guess i need to do some more work on the ‘knowing i could not fail’ bit.
i read something the other day (and tweeted it at the time) as it really hit me square in the face. the words were:
Apathy is found within the comfort zone, greatness lives outside of it.
Also, there’s a storypeople story that talks about there being angels (of mercy) whose sole purpose is to make sure we don’t get too comfortable in life.
Nic and I have been talking about this a lot too – how we have moved ourselves halfway across the world, could’ve re-invented ourselves in the process and somehow ended up doing similar stuff, in a different place (apart from all the travel).
Time to have a shakeup methinks. The signs are coming at me from everywhere!
x