The proposal, the ring, the celebratory soiree all admittedly, went some way to confirming our status as a future Mr and (ummm) Ms. But in all honesty it was at 7:15am last Saturday, when the John Lewis Delivery Man knocked on our front door that our romantic entanglement was bumped up to Proper Engaged Couple. You see dear reader at that moment, we crossed the line that secures our lifelong commitment, because thanks to a generous engagement gift from lovely future in-laws, we took possession of the Sophie Conran Portmeirion Dinner Set (Eight Place Settings).

Yes we are now officially living the white, middle class, Guardian reading, Prius driving, West London residing, wet dream. And it. is. awesome. As we share a tendency towards obsessive compulsiveness, the stack of solid white crockery has led to a new era of calm in our kitchen. Apart from (obviously) when I attempt to load the dishwasher. Or gesticulate while holding a Portmereirion item. Everything matches. We no longer have four chipped and cracked sets of unmatched plates. There is nothing hiding in the cupboard that looks like an orphaned item from a crap jumble sale.

The process of aquiring SCPDS(EPS) made me feel like I was starring in a romcom about my own life. Paul (from Kitchenware at the Kings Road store) was suitably flamboyant and bitchy. He even wore a purple flower in his buttonhole. Nora Ephron could totally have written it.

And I am unexpectedly giddy at this tangible representation of our impending joined-up-ness. Mum saved and saved for her blue flowery patterned crockery and we were only allowed to use the Good Plates on Very Special Occasions. I like to think she would be smiling at my excitement.

‘When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to ABBA songs. But since I’ve met you and moved to Sydney, I haven’t listened to one Abba song. That’s because my life is as good as an Abba song. It’s as good as Dancing Queen’ ~ Muriel

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