It’s almost 11pm. Its day one of this lovely, juicy challenge, and I gave myself a pass. A free ‘you-don’t-have-to-really-start-today because Science Guy’s parents flew home today and I had to spend before work time saying goodbye, and work was death by meeting request, and then after work I had already arranged to meet up with Phil who I really wanted to see, and due to work had already postponed a couple of times.
And. So. Because. I am the Excuse Queen. I get in my own way all the time. I procrastinate and distract myself, with whatever is at hand: twitter, ironing, the cat. Sometimes I wonder if it weren’t for the last minute, would I get anything done?
And then a little box beeped and blinked saying ‘Bindu calling‘ and there she was skyping with her magic. And with her dirty laugh and big heart I am called to write this before bed. I didn’t get to yoga today. But I have written a few hundred words. I have been mindful of myself and others today – practising grace. I took cupcakes into the office for a lovely colleagues birthday, I witnessed and acknowledged contributions by others, I bought coffee and I donated to a charity. I practised giving. Talking to Phil tonight reminded me of the serendipitous nature of the connections formed of the internet. Our stories overlap and weave together, our backgrounds so similar it is not even close to coincidence. It was a lovely, easy evening. And then with The Bindu calling at exactly the moment I needed to see her face. Even if I didn’t know it.
I have been rewarded by a calmness, a stillness that I think I have been looking for. No shame, no chiding for not starting. Just grateful for the signposts that gently reassure me it is ok to act. I don’t need to hide or be afraid. And this is the point right? The intention followed by action. I think this is what Marianne means about ‘off the mat’ yoga.
Tomorrow I am planning to get on it.
Comments
Yes!! Totally off the mat! Great, honest post :)
sas Replied:
thanks lovely :)
Hello! I found this project perhaps 30 minutes ago and have already signed up. What a brilliant idea! I love your take on this and your honesty…it opens up the way for others (such as myself) to be free to approach this in the way that will help us grow the most.
Thank you!
sas Replied:
Great to meet you! And thanks for your comment. I love that we are all doing the best we can with what we have. And that this in itself is absolutely enough :)
Looking forward to getting to know you through this 21 Day Adventure!
sas Replied:
Hi Julie. Your phrase ‘A plea for worth equals, in this case, something of a benediction’ gave me goosebumps. Thanks for making contact lovely xxx
Babe, I am so there.
Writing this afternoon because of you.
Loving you so much, big sis.
sas Replied:
yay! xxx
Hello beautiful. You’re doing great. Be kind to yourself.
Do you know what this project has taught me already? I am gonig to post about it tomorrow but I’ll tell you a bit now. For years I thought that not wanting a career per se and kind of drifting about was a fault. I beat myself up for it all the time.
But on Tuesday I realised that I practice yoga at least 5 times a week and write at least 800 words a day.
And suddenly I realised that is enough. That’s what I’m meant to do. And I’m going to try really hard not to be so mean to myself for 21 days at least!
And honestly, yoga off the mat is so much more important that standing on your head. Believe me xxx
sas Replied:
its SO much more than enough. what a break-through honey, that is awesome :)
(were your ears burning last night? me & phil are plotting an antipodean summer get together ;)
Rachel @ Suburban Yogini Replied:
The plotting sounds good to me!!!
Off or on the mat, you rock my world! Thanks for the bubbles and inspiration darl, can’t wait to do it again soon xx
sas Replied:
Ditto! :)
Found the project. And then I found you! Hi!
I’m starting the next day too. No shame, no weirdness. High five.
sas Replied:
hey there – lovely to meet you :)
Thank you for the encouraging inspiration SAS! There is so much to be done but to just ‘be’ is always enough… The calm reassurance you gave yourself is exactly what I need to be saying to myself too. I love reading your blog and I look forward to hearing how the challenge goes over the next few weeks.
best,
Natanya
See what I read was that you procrastinate by “ironing the cat”.
I think yoga is much safer for you and for the Rexinator.