Last years word was Shed. I had a niggling sense of it being imperative to get rid of things that don’t serve me; there was a definite ‘clicking into place’ sort of feeling with Shed. And mostly, it felt liberating. I loved the reduction of overwhelm from living with less stuff and more order (perfectly stacked cupboards are CALMING: not ‘Sleeping With the Enemy’ weird). But I had no real clue about how powerful this would become.
Setting an intention leads to the manifestation of that intent – who knows how this happens – sensorily, intuitively, magically – whatever the cause, choose your word wisely because the effects will BLOW YOUR MIND.
In July something fundamental shifted for me; I can’t explain it other than to say I told some truth. Out loud. It was about accepting that all the grief and loss of the past was totally worth it because it brought me to sharing food on the floor of a Moroccan Riad with women that know me well and love me anyway. That I was honestly GRATEFUL for all of it. Truly and completely. And in that moment I think I must have osmosisified all of that shit into myself. And the fear around it all was just… gone.
This meant that when I got home and absent-mindedly jumped on the bathroom scales for the first time in months – and promptly had a stroke – I was ready (if reluctant and exhausted) to face my body.
My relationship with food has been so filled with fear and judgement, that for three and a half years of talking about all the seemingly really hard stuff on this here blog, I avoided any mention of my battles, other than the occasional self-deprecating aside. This is my Waterloo. And it continues to be a quest that still feels on occasion, like the universe is throwing rocks at me. But, now I have some tools that are based on more than just white-knuckle will-power. I know that its not about the food, (but it kind of is). And I know that there is nothing that will happen to me ever in my life that I need to numb and placate away: I can deal. Knowing vs. believing AND doing: thats the hard, never-ending bit.
While twenty ten was about letting go of so much, I know I am not quite done. So for 2011 I want to shift the focus slightly and go deeper with the goodness.
My word for this year is: nourish. This year is about saying yes to the things that serve me:
- seeking out simple pleasures (hello Married Sexy Sex)
- building up the bank account to give us more choice
- creating space each day to be grateful
- filling my body for nourishment without obsession
- sleep and water every day
- cheering myself on (mental fist-pumps galore!)
- enjoying the sustenance my brain and spirit need: on and offline
What is your word for twenty eleven?
Everything you can imagine is real ~ Picasso
Comments
trackbacks
Push. That’s my word.
sas Replied:
i am picturing you in a gardening superhero outfit – push is such a vibrant active word. brilliant.
I love this idea of choosing a word for the new year. I’ve never heard of it before, but I think it’s fantastic.
My word for 2011 will be “discover,” I think. :)
sas Replied:
discover – love this!
and yes a word or theme is much gentler than a resolution – well that is what i have found :)
Powerful posting. It sounds as if you have done an Unravelling course. I have signed up for one too and if this is what awaits me bring it on! By the way, my word is “balance”.
sas Replied:
You’ll love unravelling Meg – that Unraveller in Chief is one groovy chick.
Mindful. Do as much as I can while paying attention. I have been enjoying your blog for a while now, sas, and even though I don’t always comment, I always always enjoy…
sas Replied:
its all the more lovely to hear from you – happy new year :)
Great post and great words Sas…last year for me was congruence – making the outside of me more like the inside… this year will be courage – the more brave i was last year with making the necessary outside-matching-inside changes, the more amazing the result… happy 2011
sas Replied:
congruence then courage – i can totally see the evolutionary link :)
and I am loving the emergence of superhero outfits in this comment feed!
First i think its neat how you always respond to your followers comments. My sis has always had a word for the year. I decided that i am going to write in my journal 1 thing i am greatful for, each day and to also pray for one stranger with all my other prayers for others of course. Whats a word i could use for those
two things?
sas Replied:
hmmm i would sit with this for a while – perhaps write a list of the key things: gratitude, faith and explore those ideas deeper – is there something that connects them? a thesaurus might help too. you’ll know your word when you find it :)
I am here after readiing DJan’s post. I am so glad I discovered you. Once more, I can so relate to your life last year and this new year influenced by the word ‘nourish’…
‘Shed’ is a good word, but like you, I have talking about it for a long while, but only scratching the surface. I need the word ‘purge’. Only recently, through a sleep study, did I finally “get it” (that click you spoke of). My relationship with food and holding onto to the familiar.
Holding on to the past, although comforting, does not allow enough room for growth. I look around our home and I have books, clothes, nic naks, collectibles, I have held on to for years. I pack and unpack them, dust, and there they sit. 90% of it never touches except for the dusting…
Yesterday I felt such a shift in my gut. It’s time…I looked around and saw so much I could let go of, and give away to someone who might benefit from it.
I know, I can sense, especially from the way you so eloquently expressed how liberating it was, how this is what I need to do for myself. I want to let it go. I want to feel ‘lighter’, literally and materialistically.
Thank you for this post. I’d love to visit again…
Joy, as I wrote about. But also, it emerges…Space…the development of which is rather awesome + big things are a-happening :D