See the badge over there? Down a bit, on the right. It says ‘mixtapes’? Clicking on that, dear reader, will confirm for you my love of and respect for, the audio artistes. And I just felt the need to confirm this before wittering on about the deep comfort and joy that can be derived from spending the evening in a small, windowless room, fuelled with adrenaline, vodka and a microphone.

Last year, during the mega-nightmare project, a colleague, while looking for the loo, discovered in the basement of our favoured northern teppanyaki restaurant: a karaoke room. As a result I can’t listen to Spandau Ballet anymore.

More than a few evenings over the last six months of new job, have resulted in a small band of enthusiasts commandeering the mic at Mary Janes to belt out the best soft-cock-rock the playlist can handle. Word got out. Numbers grew. This has mutated into the ’2011 Projects Team (and friends) Christmas Karaoke Spectacular’ scheduled for a week Monday. This is happening the night before our final Board Meeting of the year. The Monday before the Friday that is the ‘official Christmas party’. Jesus.

In anticipation and celebration of this important event, and after much exhaustive research, here are the 10 songs that really should be on your karaoke playlist:

• Don’t Stop Believin’ ~ Journey - my recommendation is to play this first, so you can play it again. Its a fist-pumping anthem of wholesome Americana and everybody knows the words. Livin’ on a Prayer is also a similarly stonking-great crowd pleaser.
• Jessie’s Girl ~ Rick Springfield – his best song IMHO. Great riffs. Back in ’81 when this went number one I covered my standard four writing book with a picture of Rock Springfield. Heady memories.
• Dreams ~ Fleetwood Mac – Rumours (the album from which this is a single) makes my list of top 10 of all time. Mum used to do the hoovering to Tusk. Stevie Nicks is a fucking legend. Naturally this is a favourite with the ladies. For a similar vibe go with Band of Gold by Freda Payne.
• Somebody to Love ~ Queen – quite possibly the best song for a big group. There are high, low, quiet, and yelly bits. And fabulous drummy bits. And who doesn’t want to be loved?! Brilliant.
• Hold On ~ Wilson Phillips – anyone with ovaries, born in the early 70s will be able to sing this, including the three part harmony, with their eyes closed. Also of note: Torn ~ Natalie Imbruglia (a song that is not actually about episiotomies).
• Use Somebody ~ Kings of Leon – just a bloody great song. At this point you’ve had at least three drinks (this is important from a medical standpoint as you need to keep your vocal chords lubricated), and you’ll probably sound a bit husky: embrace it.
• Mandy ~ Barry Manilow – I know. But you need something a little gentler after KoL. And this has a lovely easy chorus. If you like this try: All Out of Love ~ Air Supply.
• Valerie ~ The Zutons – I feel in love with Amy Winehouse’s version of this. Awesome track. And ginger-positive.
• Sweet Home Alabama ~ Lynryd Skynryd – the most distinctive opening chords of any song known to hoomins, this is a fab group number. Its a little bit country so if thats your bag go with Jolene or 9 to 5 by Dolly Parton.
• Hopelessly Devoted to You ~ Olivia Newton-John - I know what you are thinking. But this is the only song that I know suits my semi-crap singing voice. Even after half a dozen drinks. One time, on a team-building trip to Brighton, this song won me a karaoke competition in the (almost empty) bar on the pier.

So there you have it folks: the definitive über karaoke playlist spectacular. What’s that now? You just want to sing everything really loud? That’s a FABULOUS idea! And here’s a little mixtape especially for you.

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